Climbing Up

I know I haven't been the most consistent blogger lately. Partly because there's been a lot of icky life things that have been happening and if I told you some of it you would either A) not believe me or B) start believing that Debbie Downer herself had taken over the Grits and Gossip writing responsibilities.

After all, who wants to hear about the struggles of my grief stricken family, the diagnosis of my grandfather, the story of having to take care of a beloved 14 year old family dog when she passed away a few weeks ago, my 4 bouts of car trouble in 2 months, and a less than stellar vacation? I didn't think so!

All of the above, combined with finding time to transfer life back to my home state has made me somewhat of a hot mess lately. I'm so scatter-brained that I actually locked my keys in my car while it was running in my rush to both cool off the car, take out the trash, and get to church with my dad on Father's Day. As my lovely brother-in-law so lovingly pointed out to me, Triple A may very well reject my membership when it's time to renew!

Don't get me wrong....I love being back in SC more than anything right now. And I really love my new job. I didn't think I would ever say that the 2 year job search was worth the wait to find something that I am fulfilled doing and truly believe in. But here I am saying that very thing!

I'm also here to tell you that I'm now a believer in the old saying that when one part of your life starts going well, the other parts fall apart. While my #1 goal for 2010 was to move back to SC, sometimes I feel like that's all I've accomplished in the first 6 months of the year! Sure it was kind of a big deal and life change to move after living in a place for 6 years. That's longer than I spent in high school or college!

I look around and see people who seem to have it all together. The type of people that are organized, never forget anything, have plenty of money, and things just seem to fall into place for them without much effort. It doesn't seem fair that some people have to endure struggles and hardships while others seem to coast by in some happier parallel universe! Of course I would love to be more like them. And absolutely hate that I sometimes doubt God's plan for my life or that He won't throw anything at me that I can't handle.

I received a much needed devotional message in my inbox this morning about Faith. The verse is Hebrews 11:1 which reads "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

The devotion eloquently said, "We focus on the mountain while crying out to God for help, wondering if He really will do anything. We need to remember what God promises and does not promise. God does not promise to remove the mountain or that we will even understand the mountain. However, God does promise to help us climb the mountain and He does promise to climb it with us. We must make the continual choice to fix our gaze on God and our glance on the circumstances."

So I pray for hope and healing and strength and faith. And I can't wait to see the view from the top of the mountain when I get to the top of this particular climb in my life!

Ironically enough, all of this talk about mountains makes me think of these two pictures that Randy snapped just before his accident....

I have no doubt that he had gotten to the top of his climb in this life.

Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture

I realized that I haven't shared any pictures of me recently. Like months. See previous post for list of excuses! So this is the perfect post for a blogger feeling a little lazy today. I'm not saying I can compete with baby Bella's preciousness. But here are some highlights from the last 2 months or so.

Before I moved, I went to my last South Carolina State Society Oyster Roast. It was a muddy, rainy day, but all of the food, music, and friends added up to a good time!

Shucking away....



The color coordination wasn't planned, but made a good pic!



My friends gave me a fabulous backyard cookout going away party! Miss you guys!



With my dad and sis at my stepbrother's wedding a few weeks ago......




(I'm trying this new thing called wearing color. I'm still getting used to it. If I wore this pink dress in DC, I would stick out like a sore thumb in the sea of black and gray.)

With my cousins.....

( Yes, I'm aware that I don't look anything like my family. No, I wasn't adopted or switched at birth. My sister and I have the same laugh and that has to count for something.)

A Big To-Do

I think I’m exhausted. I’ve had 2 months of nonstop to-doing. First- the moving To-Do list. It started with the scheduling of the good-byes while simultaneously dealing with the logistics of moving. I got the prescriptions refilled, and stocked up on contacts before my insurance ran out. Done, done, and done.

Then the packing To-Do list. I packed boxes strategically- some to be put in storage, others that I would need sooner rather than later. I purged through clothes and bags, separating them into categories of Goodwill, Dry Clean, Storage, Mom’s house, and my car. I had paperwork to close out my old job, transferring of bills, changing of the address. I moved my life from DC between my last day of one job on a Thursday and starting the new job the following Monday. (Always, ALWAYS take sufficient time to recover and regroup. Got it. Lesson learned.) DONE.

My move required a lot of flexibility as we went from Plan A to at least Plan D- I lost count. I had a string of car maintenance issues that put me between the spare mini van and the mechanic. (Yep, my debut to my new job in my new town was in my mom's old mini van. Don't be jealous! Just keeping it real.) The car's A/C has been recharged, the transmission modules replaced, and rotars replaced and adjusted. That doesn’t count the flat tire I had in the van. I could now be qualified to be a spokesperson for Triple A.

I knew it would be a whirlwind. I knew I had a wedding, graduation celebration and Mother’s Day. All were worked into my plan. I thought I could keep my sanity and balance it all. I would go home a LOT the first month, then spend the summer getting settled in Columbia.

But can I just tell you that I. AM. TIRED. Yet, I can't seem to sleep these days. It's an endless and ironic cycle.

The rest of my To-Do list is taunting me and I really want to know if you can ever really catch-up and be To-Do list free. I’m holding out a glimmer of hope that it is possible. And that the reasons mine has taken a few detours are valid. But still.

To my friends- I’m working on the email responses and call backs. Please don't stop being my friend!
To my family- please excuse me if I sleep all the way through our vacation later this month.
To my new roommate- thank you for helping me when I found 2 suitcases of summer clothes I had forgot about. She helped me finish unpacking and even organized my closet by color.
To Sex in the City 2- I am mad at you for wasting valuable to-do list conquering time. I am trying to forget about you and remember our good times during the show and first movie. To my car- pretty please stay well for a little while.
To my bank account- it’s the car’s fault.
To the Braves-you are making me very happy. Please don’t stop winning.
To my iron skillets- I miss you and will make this up to you with some delicious fresh summer dishes soon.
To my flat iron- I think the "Famously Hot" humidity may have us beat.
To the state of SC- I could never have gotten through this first month without your sunny days, seeing your magnolias bloom, drinking real sweet tea by the gallon, all of the smiling faces, and just being HOME. All the To-Do lists are totally worth it to be right where I am.
To Zac Brown Band- please don’t let me down this weekend! Your Chicken Fried lyrics "There's no dollar sign on a peace of mind, this I've come to know," have never been more true to me!
To my big To-Do List- hope you enjoyed your 15 minutes, cause you're going DOWN! I have more important things To Do. (Told ya I'm sleep deprived. I can't even believe I just tried to make that "joke.")

On Spratt's Side

I typically don't get political on here. Most people that know me, already know my political leanings and I try not to push that on anyone else. I have lots of friends on the other side of the issues and am glad to say that I don't let politics come before my friends.

For anyone that may not be aware, I was fortunate to participate in a Washington Semester program offered through my college. I spent a semester on Capitol Hill working in Rep. John Spratt's office. He's a 14 term Congressman representing the Rock Hill area in SC. I know I'm a little biased here,but I spent 4 months observing the man and he's definitely one of the good guys. Even some "R" friends (that will remain nameless) have serious respect for him. How else would he be able to win a republican district time and time again?

Mr. Spratt is up for reelection this year and like most districts around the country, it has potential to be a tough race. He has a proven record of advocating for his constituents on important issues (like the community health center program that I work for) while always being fiscally conservative and responsible. He's the chairman of the House Budget Committee and is incredibly careful with our precious public dollars. He's one of the smartest people I've ever been privileged enough to be around. And I for one want only the smartest people representing me! I wouldn't stand on the side of the road waving signs at on coming traffic honking their horns for just anyone!

I have to back up for a second and recognize that I would never have had the opportunity to spread my wings in DC if I didn't have loans to help me pay for college. I'm still paying them off, but sincerely believe that they're an investment for our country. Congressman Spratt just introduced a bill that would extend a federal loan program. Now more than ever, we need to invest in education to help us get out of our current economic mess. I definitely know that I would not be where I am today if it weren't for this loan program.

I wanted to show my support for Rep. Spratt and thank him for planting the seed in me to work in public policy on behalf of people that can't always speak for themselves. I can only dream of one day making as big a difference as he has! Check him out, and if you're so inclined, support him however you can!


Here's more info on the bill. Read it on his website here.

Spratt Introduces Bill to Continue Low-Income Students' Access to College and Preserve Thousands of Jobs

May 27, 2010 10:29 AM

WASHINGTON - U.S. Rep. John Spratt (D-SC) today introduced legislation to extend the life of the Perkins Loan program, giving 500,000 low-income students greater access to college each year and providing jobs to thousands who administer and service the loans nationwide.

“Education is the engine of job creation and economic growth,” said Spratt. “By helping students attend college who otherwise might not be able to afford it, we are giving them the opportunity to succeed in today’s economy.

“In my district, two companies employ almost 300 people servicing Perkins loans, and the results speak for themselves: it’s a successful student aid program with a low default rate,” Spratt said.

The bipartisan Perkins Loan Extension Act was introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives by Spratt and cosponsored by Education and Labor Committee Chairman George Miller (D-CA), Rep. Tim Bishop (D-NY) and Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA).

Bob Perrin, President of Williams & Fudge, Inc., a Perkins loan servicer in Rock Hill, South Carolina, said, “Williams & Fudge, Inc. is very thankful for Congressman Spratt’s leadership, dedication, commitment, and support to preserve the Federal Perkins Student Loan Program. In a community that is experiencing double-digit unemployment, 240 professional jobs at our company are dependent upon the continuation of the program. These same 240 employees who are proud of the role they play in providing future opportunities for students also dine and shop locally, thus adding to the economy.”

Under current law, colleges will begin repaying prior federal funding to the Treasury in October 2012 instead of continuing to make new loans with the funds, a change that would spell an end to the program. The recall date was pushed back a number of times in past legislation, most recently in the 2007 College Cost Reduction and Access Act.

“Allowing the program to end in 2012 will jeopardize college access for low-income students,” said Spratt. “It will also eliminate jobs for thousands of people who administer and service the loans.”

Spratt’s bill changes the repayment date to October 2013, extending the Perkins loan program to allow colleges more time to plan how to continue providing assistance to students who are eligible for Perkins loans.

“Unlike some federal aid programs, there’s a human touch to Perkins loans, where colleges choose the students who apply and then either work with the students or hire companies to service the loans,” Spratt said.

Lori Hartung, Regional Sales Manager for Todd, Bremer & Lawson, Inc., a Perkins loan servicer with about 40 employees in the 5th District, said, "It is great news that Congressman Spratt is taking steps to continue the Federal Perkins loan program that helps make college possible for many people. His leadership in supporting this important loan program will make a difference for people in our community and students across the country."

BACKGROUND

Perkins loans are low-interest (5 percent interest) loans that go to about 500,000 low-income college students at some 1,700 college campuses each year. Students can have their Perkins loans cancelled if they undertake certain public service jobs for a specified length of time, thus reducing their total debt and making it easier to choose to pursue public service.

The program is financed by past federal capital contributions, college matching funds, and student repayments of past loans that are recirculated in a college’s revolving fund. The President’s budget included a comprehensive change to expand and extend the program, but Congress did not include the proposal when it approved changes to student aid programs earlier this year.

Picking Up the Pieces of Life

How exactly do you follow a post about loosing a loved one? One month ago today, I said goodbye to Washington and moved back to SC to start something new and be closer to my family. I had NO idea just how important that last part would be...what an enormous blessing to be closer to my family during this time.

My family is hanging in there as well as you can with a situation like this. There are bad days, sad days, and just-get-through-it days. The mornings have been tough for some of my family members. I imagine it has something to do with waking up and realizing what we just lived through wasn't the horrible nightmare that we wish it would have been. For me, Fridays are the worst. It's like a weekly anniversary I definitely don't want to celebrate where I relive in my head the events of the day of the accident.

Even when some of us have to try and pretend to be in a normal routine, our hearts are heavy with sadness and worry for the rest of the family. I've quickly realized that we'll never have the "normal" we had before Randy's accident. But we have to find a new "normal." And while we don't really know what that new normal is just yet, for right now it's loving a little deeper, hugging a little tighter, holding memories a little closer, and praying a lot heavier. The new normal for some us might now include meditating at a graveside, calling your dad every single day, or living each day to the fullest.

On one hand, the little things in life don't mean as much right now. It doesn't seem right for me to blog about the Braves or the weather. On the other hand, the little things mean EVERYTHING.

It's those little things that keep us going and hopefully start bringing us comfort and peace. There is a school year to finish, a new job and town to settle in to, a newborn to dote over, a wedding to attend, our faith to strengthen, baseball to watch, songs to sing, grass to plant, friends to embrace, sun to soak up, summer air to breath in, a concert to plan, and wounds to heal. And I wholeheartedly believe they will heal. In other words: there is life to live.

Meet our newest and very special family member, Bella!

The Italian and Latin meaning of her name is "beautiful." The Hebrew meaning is "God's Promise." Her name was picked out months before her birth, but how wonderful it is that even out of the sadness of death, comes a beautiful promise from God.....Life. I'm pretty sure that is one of the ultimate lessons that God wants us to learn.

April 30

Oh how much life can change between blog posts. And in this case, not in a good way. I'm not talking about the move. Yes, since my last post, I packed up my life in DC, said some tough goodbyes, dealt with a challenging move, and started my new job in Columbia. I had a wonderful first week of work.

And then, I got some horrible, awful, life-changing news. Friday evening, my stepbrother was killed in a motorcycle accident just two hours before his brother's wife had their first baby, Bella. Life and Death in the same day.

I have struggled with figuring out exactly how to express my grief. Some dear and wonderful people have expressed the loss through beautiful music, words of wisdom, cooking up a storm, using their ministerial skills way beyond the call of duty, or just plain being there.

At first, there was the total disbelief of what was happening to my family. As my sister said when I first saw her after learning the bad news, "So, he's just....gone???"

My sister and I were the only ones in town as my parents had gone to TN for their granddaughter's birth. The accident happened in NC. There was a period of time where we had little information. We tried putting the pieces together while informing key people of what happened. My sister, her sweet husband, and our dad (yes, we are what you would call a well-blended family) took off to TN in the wee hours of Saturday morning to drive my mom, stepdad, stepdad's first wife and her husband back to our hometown as none of them were in any condition to drive. I stayed behind to take care of phone calls and get the house ready. We were able to have a support system waiting in the driveway when they arrived. And boy did we ever need it.

As I tried to process everything, a flood of emotions hit me. I thought of the last time I saw him. Just 6 days before, he dropped what he was doing on a rainy Saturday afternoon to help me move my belongings into a storage building . When we finished, he showed me how to lock up the new lock. I hugged him and thanked him. He told me he was glad to have me back in SC. We were both so excited to start new jobs. He supported me through the entire process, sent me text messages to wish me luck on my interview, and was one of the first to congratulate me. Somehow it just doesn't seem fair that he won't experience the joy that I did last week of starting the new job after a long-awaited process.

As most things in my life, the memories I shared with Randy were quiet ones. I remember one of our first awkward blended family holidays. It was Thanksgiving and he spent the entire day with me by the fireplace talking and put me at ease with our new situation. By the end of the day, I knew having him as a part of my new family was going to be a wonderful thing.

More recently on our family beach trip, I remember waking up the first morning and sharing breakfast with him on the screened in porch overlooking the ocean. We were quiet. But he was there.

We've been paired up a lot in the last few years, as we've held down the "single" title for the fam. When taking our last family photos, the photographer asked everyone to "pair" together with their significant other. Randy and I looked at each other, laughed it off, and took each other's arms jokingly. When we split up clean up duty during our beach week by couples, he was my partner. (And yes, to those of you that think Randy didn't know how to clean, he actually did help!) When our family went out to eat a few months ago the waiter went around the table asking how the check would be split. Again mainly by couple, Randy told the man that we’d be together. Now we're not.

I don't think the sadness will ever completely leave us. I don't think we'll ever get our answer to WHY??? But I do know we have been surrounded by layers upon layers of people who have enclosed us in a bubble of love. New friends, old friends, and friends we didn’t even know we had. They’ve been praying with us, hugging us, feeding us, crying with us, reminiscing with us, and hurting with us. And I do know that we have been blessed by a precious baby girl. And Randy would most definitely want us to celebrate that.

Big News!

I've been a little preoccupied over the last few months...hence the light blogging! Here's the story:


Six years ago, I was an excited college graduate ready to spread my wings and move to DC. It has been a journey that I could have never imagined. I've had experiences and opportunities that have greatly enriched my life. I first worked for a United States Senator and then found my way into the public health advocacy field during an historic time in our nation's capital.

For a while now, I've wanted to be closer to home. The last year has been difficult knowing that I wanted to be someplace else. Looking for a job from a distance in this little thing called a recession, was incredibly challenging. In the end, the most perfect opportunity opened up and couldn't have been more timely.


I'm so excited to share the news that I'm going to be moving back to SC later this week! I can't believe that things finally fell into place. There are obvious mixed emotions about leaving a life I've lived for the past six years. It's never easy to say goodbye. But while it is bittersweet, I feel at peace with the new direction I'm moving in.


I will never be able to thank all of the people that endured my endless stressing and worrying. I only hope they know how much I appreciate them and that I share this happiness with each of them!

Easter

Easter Morning is filled with so much beauty, hope, promise, and peace. This Easter morning, I got up at 5:45 to help my mom and her friend decorate the outside cross at church with flowers.









As we finished up, a fireman working at the fire station across the street walked over to compliment the work. He also had a special request on this Easter morning. His son, a marine serving in Afghanistan and his platoon were struck over the last few days by the Afghanistan army. Several people, including his son, were injured.

We all probably know someone serving in the military. But there was something about standing in front of a father as he asked us to keep his son's platoon in our thoughts and prayers, that made it that much more real. As we celebrate the promise of new life and remember the sacrifice that was given, say a prayer for healing and peace to those that need it.