The Thankful Scrooge

For the first time in my life, I'm simply not in the holiday spirit! I can't put my finger on it, but the red and green sparkle hasn't hit me yet. Usually I get the holiday fever well before Thanksgiving and then Turkey Day seals the deal with the parade, the food, the taste of Christmas vacation. But not this year. I've tried everything I normally do...

-Listened to all of the Christmas music on my iPod and even turned on my holiday Pandora station- nothing.

-Watched not one, but TWO of Oprah's Favorite Things episodes- the screaming audience was funny as always, but still nothing. Who can afford any of that stuff?

-Watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, a tradition my mom ingrained in us- but the Rockettes cheery kicks did not even put me in the mood.

-Ate a yummy Thanksgiving meal- still felt nothing.

-Watched Elf- ended up falling asleep before the whole lesson of "The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear." Guess I could be considered a cotton-headed ninny-muggins?

-Helped my mom with her Christmas tree- nada.

-Sorta kinda tried to go shopping- ended up buying stuff for myself.

-Got invited to a holiday party- don't really want to go.

-Watched the Advent Conspiracy videos- helped, but still not feeling it.

I'm running out of ideas. I still have to watch Little Women, Miracle on 34th Street, and Love Actually- my holiday favorites. And maybe I need to make some cookies, drink some marshmallowy hot chocolate, stir it with a candy cane, and decorate my apartment. I considered not even bothering with the decorating! It's only December 1st, so hopefully I will come out of this holiday funk in time for the big day!

There's something about this time of year that makes me reflect on things. While I know I have so very much to be thankful for and am happy with some of this year's accomplishments, it was not without some deep sadness and challenges. I'm missing Randy more than ever, and feel so alone without him sitting beside me at our holiday table and whispering his sarcastic comments to me.

Since I couldn't bring myself to write a Thanksgiving post last week, I'll take a stab at it now.

I'm so very thankful for...

My view: I started the year staring out an office window looking at a concrete building. Now, I enjoy trees, a lake and a green golf course!

My commute: Used to be one of the worst parts of my day. The angry DC traffic is enough to put anyone in a bad mood. Now, my only traffic jam was waiting for a family of geese to cross the road.

Chemo: I'm not sure my grandfather would agree with me right now as he's in the middle of some tough chemo treatments that's making him weak, skinny, and depend on others for help. But despite the difficult side effects, the latest tests show that the cancer is GONE!!!!

Shira coming home!!: It's been a long year without her and in just a few short weeks, I get to see her! My secret dream of her getting a job and moving to SC didn't exactly come true, but I have a new place to visit once she gets settled.

New friends: Let me tell you, trying to meet new friends in your late 20's in SC isn't the easiest thing in the world. People are so settled into their mostly coupley lives with their coupley friends. And the rest of them are deeply grounded with their high school or college cliques. I feel like an intruder in their very established world. But I've met some nice friendly people willing to give me a try! (The pic is from Halloween. Just in case you thought I started wearing a feather in my hair.)

Old friends: When times are tough, like a sudden death in my family that turned our year and world upside down, I had some amazing support from old friends. The kind of friends that you call and they know immediately by the sound of your voice that something is wrong. They're kind of friends that show up or send a card, even if I hadn't talked to them in a while. Or even let you live with them for 5 months. It's hard to believe that my former "new" friends in DC, are now my "old" friends. But thanks to them, and my other close friends from home and college, I'm so thankful that each of them are in my life.

My family: Ohhhhh family. The ups and downs of another year have brought some of us even closer. I am very blessed by my family!

Braves back in the playoffs: Even if they lost a lot of steam at the end of the season, at least they squeaked their way back to a respectful position. Only 120 days until Opening Day! They inspired my jack-o-lantern this year...that I never posted pictures of. It could have been mistaken for an Alabama "A", especially sitting beside the USC pumpkin the week of the USC/Alabama game. But don't be mistaken...it's a Braves "A!" Next year, when they're playing in the World Series, I'll remember to include a tomahawk.

So out with the November blahs and in with a Merry December...I'm already feeling more Christmasy and thankful after writing this post!